Dreams of Fish
Fragments
The Seven Deadly Social Sins
My Enemy
San Francisco, Strippers, and Satan
New Town
Interviews with the People in My Neighborhood
First Dateh
Reunion
Tasty Recipes
Job Search, Pt. 1
Republic, Pt. 2
Scientology
The Girl Who Works at Tower Records on Thursday Afternoons
Meat Market
Fun Pranks
My Best Friend is My Dentist
Tips For Scoring With the Ladies...
I first encountered my very good friend, The Girl Who Works at Tower Records on Thursday Afternoons, several months ago at the Tower Records in Campbell, California. I was immediately struck by her appearance: somewhat overweight with a slight case of acne and three hues of color in her hair (probably the result of a bad bleaching in conjunction with two bad dye-jobs). Her aroma of cigarette smoke seemed appropriate in conjunction with her Gothic-styled clothing. I recall speculating that she probably spent more money on cafe lattes and Marlboro Lights than on tuition or Retin-A.
Once again, I ran into this legendary cashier yesterday. She still lives up to her name, seeing as how it was Thursday and she was still working at Tower Records. After she smirked at my eclectic selection of items (Black Sabbath's "Master of Reality," Buju Banton's mediocre "Inna Heights," Rod Stewart's stellar "Greatest Hits," and the newest issue of the always-informative Self magazine), I seized the opportunity to conduct this exclusive interview:
infopegasus.net: So, how's it going?
TGWWATROTA: ....huh?
infopegasus.net: I was just asking how things are going.
TGWWATROTA: Oh...um.....
infopegasus.net: Do you like working here?
TGWWATROTA: Uh...why are you asking?
infopegasus.net: It just seems like a cool place to work. I'd take advantage of the discount if I worked here. Man, I'd get a SWEET discount on that Cheap Trick boxed set....
TGWWATROTA: Uh...sure...do...do you want an application or something? Like...the manager who handles that stuff isn't here....
infopegasus.net: No, that's okay. I have a job. Hey, when's your next break? Do you want to hang out or something?
TGWWATROTA: Uh...it's going to be a while...what...what...um...maybe later.
infopegasus.net: Aw, come on. We could go listen to this Rod Stewart CD. HE ROCKS ASS.
TGWWATROTA: Uh...your total is $53.17.
infopegasus.net: Oh, okay. (Handed her my Visa)
TGWWATROTA: ....
infopegasus.net: (Signed the credit card slip)
TGWWATROTA: Here you go.
infopegasus.net: Great! See you later! (Pointed to her while making a double-clicking sound at the side of my mouth)
TGWWATROTA: ...
Stay tuned for more adventures with the Girl Who Works at Tower Records on Thursday Afternoons!
My father was a tough son of a bitch. When I would hear children …