Dreams of Fish
Fragments
The Seven Deadly Social Sins
My Enemy
San Francisco, Strippers, and Satan
New Town
Interviews with the People in My Neighborhood
First Dateh
Reunion
Tasty Recipes
Job Search, Pt. 1
Republic, Pt. 2
Scientology
The Girl Who Works at Tower Records on Thursday Afternoons
Meat Market
Fun Pranks
My Best Friend is My Dentist
Tips For Scoring With the Ladies...
Has it already been ten years? Who's going to show up at the reunion? What's everyone been up to? Who gives a fuck?
received a letter from the Arroyo Grande High School* Class of 1990 Reunion Committee telling me that my 10 year high school reunion is next month: October 27, to be exact. Festivities will kick off at the Arroyo Grande High School Homecoming Game, followed by a party in a local club. On October 28, a barbecue will be held in a nearby park. I am told to be sure to bring significant others and children, as it will be a "family day." On October 29, I am encouraged to "break out the black tie" as the festivities will wrap up with a formal ball to be held in a local country club.
I considered the notion of walking around a banquet facility on a golf course, gregariously making conversation while sipping cheap scotch. I pictured myself talking to faces easily recognizable but noticeably aged. Some will inevitably brag about their high status, making coy but obvious references to the high profile companies that they work for or the sophisticated cars that they drive. We will compare their lives to the ones they led ten years ago, marveling at the grace with which they had reinvented themselves. Others will smile sweetly and explain that they still live in the same town, raising a family as they maintain a job at the refinery. We will sigh and admire their integrity. There will be heaps of laughter and jokes, punctuated by the occasional drunk. I will dance slowly with girls from whom I once hid crushes, only they will now be women who have seen the world just as I have, and we will whisper secrets to one another as the night carries on. The air would carry the smell of alcohol, tears, and eucalyptus. We will all look back in fondness at our high school reunion, and cherish the memory for years to come.
Immediately, I typed a letter to the Reunion Committee. I stated that Bill Gong would not attend the coming reunion as he was killed recently in an unfortunate accident. However, his alma mater was always in his thoughts and, if it pleases them to know, one of his last acts before his demise was to fill out the reunion registration form and write out a check with the words, "AGHS Football Kicks Ass" in the memo. I signed the letter, "Jack Mehov" and posted it immediately.
* "Arroyo Grande" is Spanish for "Big Ditch"
My father was a tough son of a bitch. When I would hear children …