Dreams of Fish
Fragments
The Seven Deadly Social Sins
My Enemy
San Francisco, Strippers, and Satan
New Town
Interviews with the People in My Neighborhood
First Dateh
Reunion
Tasty Recipes
Job Search, Pt. 1
Republic, Pt. 2
Scientology
The Girl Who Works at Tower Records on Thursday Afternoons
Meat Market
Fun Pranks
My Best Friend is My Dentist
Tips For Scoring With the Ladies...
Once again, someone needs your advice!
DEAR READER,
A month ago I met some loser in a bar and suckered him into buying me some drinks. He seemed like a complete idiot so I upped the ante and made it seem like I went to college with the chump. Wouldn't you know it, the dumbfuck bought it! He was obviously a class-a retard so I told him I wanted to go home with him for some "hot sex."
Once we got outside, I brained his ugly head with a hammer, laughed for a little while he bled, and then took his keys and wallet. I drove his piece-of-shit car to his house and took the rest of his belongings.
My problem is that I'm trying to fence all of his shit but I'm having trouble moving it. What are the best ways to get rid of stolen cars, furniture, and clothing?
Sincerely,
FANCY NANCY
My father was a tough son of a bitch. When I would hear children …